“I used to just keep quiet and suffered in silence – but now we are able to actually resolve conflicts!
I’m able to now accept my spouse as they ARE, with different needs than mine.
We are excited to share this with others!”
– testimony from a couple who attended the “Couples Conference” in Kenya a couple of months ago.
- Being a pastor makes you and your family a target in the spiritual battle, and it can be a heavy burden.
- Being a pastor in small poor rural villages has additional unique challenges.
- Our idea of how we should relate to each other, including in our marriages, is initially set by the family and culture we grow up in. Many of the practices in the various tribal cultures in Kenya do NOT align with the bible. In addition, discussing many important topics, even as husband and wife, is considered taboo!
In 2022, we identified a handful of pastors and their wives, and took them through “Called 2 Love”, some excellent biblical marriage material which Jason and Melissa have found very helpful in their relationship. For many of these couples, it was the first time they actually discussed topics like finances, sex, how to partner in managing the household, public and private affection, … Just providing a safe place and permission to discuss some of these topics was revolutionary. It is even more revolutionary to open God’s word and wrestle with how to deal biblically with all of these areas. The scriptures have so much to teach us about how to truly love one another. It shows examples through the stories and gives explicit commands regarding how we should be meeting each other’s needs in marriage. We are called to provide MORE than just the basic physical needs like food and shelter. We are invited to also meet one another’s deep needs for emotional and spiritual connection.
The feedback on the impact of the 2022 conference was truly inspiring.
So this year (2023) we took these same couples even deeper through the material and helped them to make plans for spreading this teaching in their own churches and communities in 2024. Now these couples have experienced this transformation, they are eager to see others experience these same blessings!
Your prayers and donations are making an impact! Thank you for helping make this possible!
Please read the testimonials below so you can understand the impact better:
Testimonial Quotes:
“I was suffering from the judgement of the older men and the old cultural ways. Now I see how the Bible shows us a better way. There is so much pressure in our tribal culture to be a “real man” and to be “tough” – but the Bible paints a very different picture of what it means to be a man. Following the teachings of the Bible has really helped us in our marriage to understand each other and love each other better.”
“I now understand my spouse’s emotional needs. It’s like finally having a map. I’ve learned to know her, and I am able to see our differences and understand myself better too. Our conflicts have been reduced and I am now able to see and appreciate the ways she has been trying to show me love.”
“It has been a profound revelation that some things REALLY DO matter to one, but do NOT matter almost at all to the other. I’m able to now accept my spouse as they ARE, with different needs than mine. I used to just keep quiet and suffered in silence – but now we are able to actually resolve conflicts! We are excited to share this with others!”
“The conference was so helpful to us. It helped us to develop courage and boldness to talk about sexual matters in our marriage. Thanks to Melisa and Jason for choosing to help us build strong and healthy marriages.”
” We are so very grateful to the donors for their support so that we can learn how to keep our marriages strong and love each other. Our testimony is that since we left at the conference many things have changed. A big one is that we are now able to sit down and budget for our money together. May almighty God bless those who made this possible, since this class was such a blessing to us.”
“Since the training, we have much less conflicts and misunderstandings. Now we know better how to respond and react to each other. Now I know my spouse’s anger is not meant to offend, so I don’t take it as personally.”
“We had lots of unintended hurt that we are now able to avoid. I’m now able to connect instead of feeling alone. I’m able to now ask and discuss: How can I improve?”
“It was very helpful to discuss and think about how our culture teaches us to interact and compare it with the Bible. The class has taught me to focus on all the good instead of just on the bad.”
“We have begun to pray more together. We have been able to learn about how our growing up in our families has shaped how we interact. It is hard to accept my weaknesses but I feel safer doing so now.”
“We relate to each other very differently because of this class. We have begun to follow what the Bible says is the way to love each other rather than what our culture teaches. Many of the differences which used to cause conflict, don’t cause conflict anymore.”
“We are from very different backgrounds, but I see now that those differences can be a strength. I see now that I don’t need to change my partner. I am able to love her just the way she is and focus on celebrating her strengths, rather than trying to change her to be more like me.”
